We Are Moving To Nashville!
We. Are. Moving. To. Nashville. I never imagined writing those words. After all, this isn’t what our life was supposed to look like right now.
We have worked so hard for the past 2+ years to build our forever home, here, in the PNW. To start our farm. To bring our dreams to life on the land that we love so deeply - that we worked through blood, sweat and tears to call ours. We have spent every single day for over two years planning, dreaming and mapping out just what our life would look like on our farm. I never imagined walking away from it.
I’ve shared about the journey of creating a place we hoped would nourish our community become a place of beauty and connection. A place that would be our home but also a place where we could bless others. And so stepping away from it couldn’t possibly happen. I saw the dreams too clearly. I saw every single piece of them alive and thriving in my heart and mind.
A Slow Shift and My Stubborn Heart
This transition slowly and surely took shape in our life and my perspective lagged behind. Unwilling and unable to see past the dreams I had created. This change was like liquid lava… boiling slowly and surely at first and then pushing its way up the mouth of a volcano and finally erupting over the edges changing everything in sight.
This has been the path we have been on these past two years. None of it has been easy, not one single step. Hindsight is always 20/20 and perhaps I was just too stubborn to turn away from what I thought should have been, but when we finally did, even bigger doors opened. And here we are…packing up our life and chasing them.
Understanding Change and Changing My Perspective
I reflect back a little further to 2018 and look at all that I have learned about change and adapting to it - about creating plans and visions and realizing that they aren’t really the ones destined for my life. I see now that God has been preparing my heart for the greatest change of all, this one.
If you read Faith Change and Accepting the Unknown: My Three Year Journey That Has Changed Me, I shared all about what I’ve walked through over the past three (now four) years. I had such different visions for what life might have looked like for our family at this time. The past four years have held more major life change than my past 37 years combined. And, boy have I learned and grown.
Unexpected Changes
Over four years, I wrestled with changes that seemed so out of my control and not what I had thought life would look like. If I sit and make a simple list of reflection, this has been the journey.
Our family grew and two children became three.
I hemmoraged in the hospital and struggled with my health and was bed ridden for the greater part of four months after giving birth.
I had no choice but to step away from my business that I had built and poured my heart and soul into for 13 years.
The purchase of our dream wedding venue fell through.
The sale of our house led to us living 30 miles away from school and work and commuting daily for two years while we looked for land to build our dream home.
Our dream land took over a year to purchase and another year to get our house plans done, only to find out that alongside the wait, the changes in the cost of building materials and interest rates combined would put us at a place that we would be financially stretched far too thin to make it happen.
In the midst of so many changes, I lost both of my grandparents, my rocks in life and my world.
The past few months, I’ve felt deeply overwhelmed by the amount of change and adaptation, I found myself in the true throws of the bottom of the canyon and shared about on my last blog post, Breaking the Silence of a Hard Season.
Unearthing the Gold
But if I have learned something through it all, it is this. Open your heart because God always has bigger and better plans for us than we could imagine for ourselves. As I reflect now, with clear eyes, on the events that seemed like challenges in the moment I see such blessings. Each of those life shifts I mentioned above shaped me and caused me to grow in ways I hadn’t expected. Looking at them now, I see what they really were.
Having our daughter and becoming a family of five, was the greatest gift. Camilla Maxine was our missing piece that we didn’t even know was missing and I can’t imagine life without her. She has helped me focus on being a more present mom, added a fresh breath of joy through a pandemic, helped us focus on family time together and on seeing the wonders of the world through the eyes of a child. Her bouncing curls, her sparkle and the relationship between our three girls is something that fills my heart daily.
Having health complications after her birth forced me to slow down and focus on getting to know and nourishing myself in ways I had been neglecting. I studied and learned about how food can be medicine, dove into yoga, practiced gratitude and self growth and found my true self. I took time to understand my true passions and dove into new hobbies - like floral design and writing this blog. For the first time, I fully grasped who I am as a woman in this season- not a wife and mom. Just Alissa. I found a calling to help create connection to ourselves and among each other.
Giving up my business gutted me to the core. I built it from the ground up and was so proud of all that we created. Stepping away was not by choice and sometimes details need to be spared, but the lesson I took away from it was that I can do freaking anything. I look back with pride and see that I took a wedding planning business that I started in my living room to the pages of Martha Stewart. I will always be proud of that. These were formative years filled with learning so much, often the hard way, but such good learning and priceless experience. Entrepreneurship is perhaps the most wide spanning life lesson to learn.
When the opportunity to purchase a wedding venue became a reality and a life long dream of owning a farm that we could host events was almost complete, I watched as it all fell through my fingers. But now I look back and see that if it had worked out, we would have been new venue owners smack dab in the midst of covid with a hefty mortgage on our hands and no opportunity for incoming business. It was a huge blessing in disguise that it didn’t work.
Selling our house and moving into my grandparent’s house was the first time we took a big, scary leap together toward our dreams. It caused us to sell so many of our things and enjoy a simplified lifestyle inside the cozy walls of this little home. It also meant two years of precious time living next door to my dad. It was during this time that we were able to get quiet long enough to really hone in on what we wanted to create together in our farm.
A thirty minute commute to and from school each day became quality conversations and gratitude practice with my girls and making it through all of the Harry Potter audio books…which I highly recommend.
Finding our dream land and doing all of the research to build our home on it and develop our farm led to me learning more than I could have ever imagined. I now am no longer a novice when it comes to understanding land feasibility and the process of subdividing a parcel…and the headache behind it. I know more about architecture and house plans, building a home, finish work and space planning that I could have ever imagined. I’ve seen the direct effects of material costs rising and interest rates rising and what that really looks like. I taught myself to use Sketch Up and really dove into my love for interior design. I’ve walked through so many steps in this process and have a whole new bank of knowledge, should I ever need it in the future. At the very least, I could take you to coffee and share all about what to consider if you are going to build. I know this knowledge will serve me well in the future in some way, I just don’t know what it is yet.
Losing our Papa and Mema, the rocks of my world, was utterly crushing. But from them, I learned what real love was and had the joy of building an entire lifetime of memories with them. I’ve learned the importance of taking care of each other through the hard and the easy parts of life by watching them. They were my role models, my mentors and the loves of my life. Goodbyes are hardest when there was true, deep connection in life and I’m so grateful for that.
Finding Clarity
As I think back through all of these hard steps, it is such an eye opener to the preparation that my heart was walking through to take the biggest journey of all.
In May we got to a point of exhaustion - a wondering of why it just wasn’t working. Nothing about trying to create this farm had been easy. Like square peg, round hold status. I just wouldn’t click. From purchasing the land to drawing up the plans to crunching the numbers and seeing where things landed. Literally every step was next to impossible and caused us to test our patience over and over and over.
Our hopes had been a modest home and the reality was, at this point with sky high material costs and interest rates, even a mobile home on the land would mean we would both need to get full time jobs just to afford the mortgage. What would that mean for actually being able to develop the property into what we hoped? When we started this journey, never could we imagine how the world would change. Our goal had always been rooted in quality time together and it seemed like trying to stay and build would give us the opposite.
And so, we decided, to change our mindset and be open to other possibilities. Maybe we were forcing something that really wasn’t meant to be. Maybe we needed to open our hearts to something else. Craig was better at that that I was. I was stuck in trying to make this happen. I had prayed so hard and dreamed daily about all that our farm would become. It took me months to start to gradually loosen my grip on my dream and what I thought should happen. After all, I’m a planner for a living, planning my life should come naturally, right? Wrong.
Something New
If the saying “God laughs when we think we have it all figured out” is true, I’ve sure kept him chuckling over the years. And so, finally, I gradually began to open my heart too. There have been three seasons of life so far that Craig and I have felt a pull to take a bigger adventure for our family and we have always ignored them. This time we decided to explore the possibility.
We are both born and raised in the PNW and never dreamed of actually leaving or moving away from family. But when it became so apparent that the cost of living was becoming increasingly difficult, life here wasn’t feeling quite right and things just weren’t working, we decided that perhaps this was the final urge we needed. After all, quality of life is what we are chasing, and perhaps another place would allow us to do that better. After all, we could always start our farm elsewhere.
As we began tossing around the idea of potentially moving somewhere else that we could bring this dream to life, we researched relentlessly. We wanted to find a place that would be beautiful and inspiring, have a community that was rooted in family and connection, provide a more reasonable cost of living and in turn, more time together and at the top of the list … more sunshine. :) Something in each of us has always felt rooted in the south - after all, my Papa was from Mississippi. And so we tossed around the ideas of Austin, Dallas, Savannah, Charleston, Greenville, Asheville and Nashville.
Soutbound Summer Adventure
Determined to make this a family decision, we packed five suitcases and prepared for takeoff. We figured that traveling to the south in the midst of July would help clarify if the humidity and heat were just too much for us Pacific Northwesterners. We landed with a sense of excitement and purpose. In ten days we covered over 2,100 miles and explored Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina and Tennessee. The kids were rockstars and our nightly pool adventures were their reward.
We loved the romanticism of Savannah and the architecture and the hanging moss on the trees. Beauty and inspiration is truly everywhere. We fell hard for the charm of Charleston and I could have stayed forever. Seaside, dipping our toes in the Atlantic, I felt like this could truly be home. Greenville, SC reminded us of Spokane and Kirkland having a baby and the family centric community felt warm and connecting. The beauty of Asheville, NC is breathtaking and the lush trees and mountainous terrain felt similar to home. But something clicked in Nashville. It seemed to check off every box and the kids felt it too. And it turns out… we didn’t hate the humidity.
Falling In Love With Nashville
Nashville is absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. It is lush, green, clean and full of southern charm. There is something special about the pride of ownership that people hold in their homes and belongings, whether they have a little or a lot. People are friendly and welcoming and the job market is awesome. The cost of living is reasonable and finding a place with some land AND a house is completely possible. The creative realm and opportunities are everywhere and who doesn’t love the chance to catch a live performance nightly in Music City if you wanted to?!
Southern hospitality and roots are alive and well alongside fresh vision, as so many people have moved there over the past few years. I like that combination. A place with roots in family, community and connection but filled with fresh perspective. It felt like the perfect combination. Collard greens had become my favorite new vegetable and Craig couldn’t get enough barbecue. As we sat there gazing out at the city from our rooftop pool and watching our kids splash around with new friends, we knew our answer.
We spent our nights applying for jobs and researching what life would really look like here. We flew home and we made a pros and cons list as a family and making the move won time and time again. Leaving family and friends would be the hardest thing ahead of us. I’m not afraid of change at this stage in my life and I’m not afraid of building community. I love building community. I am afraid of what my heart will feel like knowing that I can’t hug my parents anytime I want to, or gather with my best friends here, but I am grateful for FaceTime and the way that technology can help close the distance. I also know that the home that we create will always have a place for family and friends to come and stay and let us love on them.
When Dreams and Opportunities Collide
Upon our return home, I stumbled upon a job opportunity that literally made me stop in my tracks. Southall - a new 325 acre farm and inn resort nestled in the hills just outside of Nashville - is opening this fall. Reading the first page of their website, every word resonated in my bones.
“On the winding road that leads here, you begin to understand the purpose of this place, for you are already immersed in the journey of the land and those who came before us. The perfect blend of old and new, tradition and innovation, it’s the evolution of Southern hospitality—a setting just outside of Nashville designed around the connections we crave in a world that too often rushes past the things that matter most. A working farm. An inviting inn. Dining and spa experiences that honor the cycles of nature and incorporate its bounty. This is Southall, and something special is always growing.”
You guys… The gardens are the foundation of the property and feed each creation in the restaurant. The chickens who roam the farm produce the eggs they use. The apiary is filled with 4+ million honeybees pollinating the land and producing honey. 15,000 square feet of greenhouses sustainably grow everything from lettuce to citrus, complete with a classic French orangerie. Holistic wellness activities, a 15,000 sq ft spa, outdoor adventures and opportunities everywhere beckon guests to connect with themselves and nature. Impeccably designed guest rooms and cottages allow for a full escape and thirteen spaces on site provide for events and gatherings to experience the magnificence of this place.
It was as if every piece of my heart felt filled reading the description of this revolutionary place. It was the grandiose plan of what we had hoped to create on our own farm, but on a scale we couldn’t have ever imagined! The combination of my 15 years in the event world, my heart for hospitality and connection, our passion of creating a farm that is rooted in nourishment and connection to self, the earth and one another - it couldn’t be more perfect!
And guess what…they were hiring for an event manager!! I couldn’t believe it. In a moment, it was as if I found the clarity that I had been seeking for two years. Was the hard path we had been taking leading us here? It was the perfect combination of my skillset and passions colliding and I threw my name in the hat.
Two interview later and I jumped for joy when I got an offer letter for the Client Event Services Manager position. And so, with the first door opening in two years, I felt the first concrete bit of clarity that making this huge, cross country move was the right one.
Finding Clarity
As hard as the last two years have been, the ease of things falling into place for our move has provided such assurance. I feel certain that this adventure is going to be a good one and the one we are destined for. I’m so excited to build our life in a place we fell so in love with. And I can hardly believe that I get to call Southall work.
The opportunity for Craig to leave his job after 16 challenging years is amazing. Switching places and heading to work full time and allowing him to spend time at home with the girls will be a beautiful season for their relationship. I know it will also be a pretty incredible to walk in each other’s shoes and find a deeper sense of appreciation for one another. I look forward to leaving work at work (nearly impossible when you own your own business) and more present family time when we are all together.
I am grateful to finally be in a place where I see the pieces aligning and I see the reasons for this bigger adventure. Being in the cavern of frustration and the unknown has been excruciatingly hard. But there are seasons for it all.
Maybe we will learn from all of the farming practices at Southall and still create our farm in the future. Maybe the yearning my heart had for the things I had hoped to do on our farm will be fulfilled with what I get to create daily. Perhaps we will find joy in just doing daily life together in a new, fresh place with new opportunities and building new community.
I have a feeling that this new season is just what we are needing and we aren’t afraid to chase our dreams across the country. After all, we have one life to live, so why not go for it?!
Open Heart Equals Possibility
At this point, I know is that change is a constant and opening your heart to it allows for beautiful lessons along the journey. If we can teach our girls this, it could perhaps be the best life lesson we can give them.
I also know that no matter what plans we can create for ourselves, there are always bigger and better ones waiting. So, perhaps from here on out, I’ll try to leave the super detailed planning to my work life and hold a less firm rein on what my life plans look like. By doing so, perhaps I’ll get better each day at enjoying the journey.
I know that this move and this adventure will be etched in hard days and easy. Moments full of gratitude for new opportunities and lonely time. Hardships and celebration. Knee deep in unfamiliar and the first feelings of familiarity. But that’s life, isn’t it?
And if we aren’t brave enough to step out into the unknown and try something new, we would never find the opportunities we might have missed out on. I don’t know about you , but I’d rather find those opportunities.
Wherever these next few years take us….heck, wherever this lifetime takes us, I’m all in.
