Morning Gratitude Practice for Children
My daily gratitude practice, along with lots of prayer, is one of the most important pillars in my life. It has been a steadfast backbone in hard times and easy. In seasons of loss and seasons of abundance. It has helped me to take things in stride as they come and to more easily let go of the negative things in my life. There is so much negativity in this world and I am determined to work to rise above it daily. It isn’t easy, it takes dedication and I am so far from perfect at it. But I am trying and I am dedicated to facing life head on and turning what could be a focus on lack into an appreciation of what is. As I have appreciated this practice in my life, I have wanted to also try to help foster gratitude in the lives of our children.
My morning gratitude practice is not something that I began doing until adult hood. I’ve always been more of an optimist then a pessimist, but as I look back on my life, I wonder how it might have been even richer through my adolescent years if I had put this same practice into play as young girl. How might teenage life have been a little less difficult to navigate if I had a steadfast practice like this one in my life back then. What changes would have felt a little easier if I woke up daily and turned my focus immediately to gratitude and my faith. I’ve wondered this many times. Perhaps it never would have happened. Perhaps I didn’t have the dedication that I do now to make sure I am pouring into my heart in ways that aren’t always convenient or easy - like daily journaling or working out. I’m not sure. I do know this, though. The idea or example of doing something like this was not something that naturally occurred in my life and so I would have had to search for it. And as a young adolescent, boys were way more front and center in my mind then searching for gratitude.
Using the wisdom we gain as we grow older and become parents, I think it is common to work hard to try to set our children up for more success then we had at their age. To help inspire and instill in them healthier habits, to build stronger foundations, to make them more resilient. This is true for myself anyway. As I think about this all, I wonder if perhaps I had something like this modeled for me, maybe I would have picked it up as a regular practice earlier. I’m not sure, but I decided that it has been such a staple in my life that I would create a gratitude practice that I do with my girls each morning.
My hope is this. Even if this isn’t something that they naturally choose to do on their own at this stage of life, with my lead, I hope it becomes a practice that they enjoy. Eventually growing to become one of those practices that is just ingrained in you. Something that is just naturally a part of their morning, like brushing their teeth or putting on socks. I pray that when life gets challenging, it is something that they naturally fall back into. I hope that it becomes a habit so natural, so fluid in their morning that it is just a part of who they are. So that eventually they do it not because I am asking them to, but because they find it fills their own hearts with joy and changes their days. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t, but I’m going to try. I believe in giving our children all of the tools we can and trusting they will use the ones that make sense for them. Perhaps this will be one of them. Or perhaps they will adapt it in a way that resonates with their minds, hearts and lives in a more advanced way then I can show them. However, I’ll do the best with what I have to share.
If this sounds like something that you’d like to try with your children as well and would like a little framework, here’s the routine that we have created. I encourage you to create something that works for you and your family. We do this practice in the car on our way to school each day. Often after a (usually) hectic morning of attempting to get three kids showered, fed, backpacks filled and out the door on time, it is a good way to settle and ground ourselves on the drive. When we do this practice, I make sure to not steer their thoughts in it. This is their gratitude and their answers are the only correct ones. Not mine. I have my own practice for that :)
Share three things you are grateful for that happened yesterday
Like a true annoying mom, I try to make them actually think. I want this lesson not to become totally passive where they just recite the same thing each day, but I want them to actually reflect on the day before and recognize three things that they were grateful for. Remember, these are their things, whatever they think was the highlight of their day is the right answer!
2. Share three things you are thankful for in your everyday life
This one can often become a little more monotonous in their answers, but that’s okay. After all, I am asking them to tell me something that has permanence that they are thankful for. They have each decided that their answers to this one are: home, food, family, friends, God, Jesus and Grandparents. Those are pretty good staples if you ask me! You are correct if you noticed that I asked for three and they list six of them daily. They may not be overachievers when it comes to getting their homework done, but dang it, if they want to overachieve here more power to them!
3. Say our mantra
We made up a little mantra for them to say each day. You can make up anything that works for you! I encourage you to make it up together. Rachel Hollis inspired ours a bit and they ran with it to make it their own. Our is “ I am brave, I am strong, I am smart, I am capable, I can do anything and I love myself.”
4. Say Our Daily Reminder
Because I want them to remember they are in charge of themselves and their actions, we say a daily reminder of: “We can control ourselves but not others.” This helps them remember that even if someone else is making a decision they wouldn’t make or treating them in a way they would not treat someone else, they are in charge of their own decision making and actions. This is a lesson that I remind myself of daily as well.
5. Set an intention or goal for the day
We wrap things up by setting a personal intention, or goal as we call it, for the day. Theirs often is to “Do well in school, listen to the teacher or get along with each other.” Again, no wrong answers. Even if their goal is to eat their lunch - great!
All in all this practice only takes about 5-10 minutes and is the perfect length to do on the drive to school. I would love to have this be a practice that they do in writing, but so far we haven’t found enough time in our mornings to do that. Maybe during the summer when our timeline is a little more lax. We will see. For now, this is working for us.
I hope you are able to take some useful tools away from this today and build a practice that works well for your family and your children! Let me know if you have any questions!
