Moving across the country is no small feat, we learned that. Our 2,500 mile cross-country move from Washington state to Tennessee last year taught us a lot about resilience, accepting the unknown and supporting each other as a family. It was the journey of a lifetime. I remember google searching as we prepared for it in hopes that I could glean as much information as possible in order to prepare myself. If you want to read more about our decision to move, hop back to my post We Are Moving to Nashville!

Here we are now, 5 months in and I’m sure there is someone out there googling in preparation for their move as well. So, we wanted to share some of the things we learned in hopes that it might help someone else standing in similar shoes to prepare for their great adventure ahead. These considerations aren’t applicable only to a large cross country move, but can also be applied to a cross town move to a different neighborhood as well.

1. Make a list of what is important to you in a new community

Thinking about uprooting comes with a mixed bag of emotions and I can’t tell you how many times I sat and pondered what our life would look like after our move. Craig and I spent a lot of time in conversation about what was important to us in a new community. We had both been born and raised in the Pacific Northwest and with the exception of small moves around the state, we had never REALLY had to reconfigure everything. Making a list of the things that were important to us was imperative as we considered such a life changing adventure.

Things to consider: Start with an exercise in writing down your life priorities. Include things like the importance of safety of your new community, the type of community you want to be a part of, the kind of weather you are hoping for, what kind of job opportunities you are seeking, what the schools are like if you have or plan to have children. Does diversity matter to you? What kind of cost of living would give you a comfortable life? What kind of recreational opportunities are important to you? How close is the nearest airport? What kind of a home do you hope to have? Do you want to live in a community or have land? How easily can you travel to other places if adventure is something you enjoy? What kind of lifestyle makes sense for your hobbies and the things you enjoy?

2. Do research and take a recon trip

I spent weeks researching prior to heading out on our trip. I wanted to gain a general understanding of each of the places we were considering prior to leaving. Our recon trip was a bit of a larger scope than many, since our move wasn’t driven by a particular job or location. Because of this, we covered 5 cities in four different states in 10 days. (Good thing things are MUCH closer to together here in the South!) We decided, since this was a family decision and one that we really valued our children’s input on, we would take a recon trip as a family.

Things to consider: Prior to your trip, do as much research as humanly possible about the area you will visit. Having a high level of understanding about each place prior to your arrival, allows you explore and be able to imagine life in each place a little more clearly once you are there.

During your recon trip, make note of how travel in and out of the new city’s airport looks as you experience it for yourselves. This will become the way for friends and family to visit you and for you to visit them. Make sure to visit neighborhoods you have researched, understand the interstate system, check out schools, seek out all of the amenities you would need in daily life like grocery stores, locate medical facilities, find out about utilities available, dine in local restaurants, understand natural disaster risks, talk to local people, visit the Chamber of Commerce, connect with any friends who live there to learn from them, take note of the weather, view real estate listings in areas you are considering and possibly tour some homes.

3. Do some life mapping and continue more specific in-depth area research

During our trip, we easily identified which places seemed to just make sense for us rather quickly. It was a sort of knowing feeling we had in each of our guts. Once we decided on Tennessee, the real research began. I had already done high level research, but I needed to get into the nitty gritty of how life would truly look in each town we were considering living. (If you have a long return trip ahead of you from your recon trip, this can be done on your way home.) 

Things to consider: To do this, create what I call a Life Map. Write down what a typical week looks like for your family. Make note of the stores you go to, activities you participate in, drive times you have, the routines you do. Everything. Now, take this life map and translate it to your new town based on the new knowledge you have from the research you have done and the recon trip you have taken. How does it compare? What items on it change and what are they replaced with? What are your new commute times, new grocery stores, new schools, new opportunities etc?

Next, compare your new Life Map with your list of priorities that you created in step one. How does it look? Does the new life map add value to your current life or take away from it? How would that life map translate in the future?

4. Make a pros and cons list

We decided to make this list together after we got home from our recon trip and we opted to do it with our kids. We sat down during dinner the day after we got home (after some good rest) and went over the pros and cons of staying or moving. Each person’s input was valued and written down. By the end of our family meeting, we had a clear picture of what made sense for our life.

Things to consider: I know this might feel basic, but physically write or type up a pros and cons list instead of just doing it in your head. Consider including your children in this practice if it makes sense for you.

5. Find a good realtor you can trust even if you aren’t buying immediately

Though we weren’t certain if we would rent or buy immediately, I knew that connecting with a realtor in the area who had a good reputation, was trusted and knowledgeable would be beneficial. I actually connected with a realtor in Charleston and in Nashville as we did our in-depth research on both places.

Shoutout to the Caitlin Martin Team, who have been BEYOND amazing for us through this process. I actually found Caitlin on Youtube as she does a video series for people looking to relate to Nashville and I learned a lot from her video! I also could feel that she was genuine and not just looking for a sale. She truly cares for her clients and she and her team have ensured we felt supported from the moment we first spoke. They even delivered a welcome box of local goodies to our hotel and put together a driving tour of neighborhoods that would make sense for us, based on what we were looking for. Even though we weren’t necessarily looking to purchase right away, they helped us locate rentals and gave us a ton of guidance. Their genuine care and heart for our family have been invaluable and we wouldn’t consider working with anyone else when we do purchase. 

Things to consider: It can be hard to go about it blind and find a realtor based on a google search in a new area. I highly recommend talking to friends and seeing if they know anyone in the area you are looking to relocate. If so, those connections can often easily lead into someone knowing a trusted realtor in the area. (My friend Erin connected us with her friend who is a realtor in Charleston and she was wonderful!) If there are no connections, hop on Youtube and see if you can find someone who loves to help educate and has a genuine heart for caring for their clients. Another option is to ask a local realtor of yours if they know any realtors in the area you are headed.

6. Consider renting before you buy

Something that we decided to do was to rent for a year before purchasing a home. Doing this felt like a bit of a safety net in case we didn’t end up loving the neighborhood we were in. I hoped that we had done enough research ahead of time that we would be content where we landed. Especially after taking our kids out of school and moving them across the country, but we still didn’t want to feel stuck. 

Things to consider: I would suggest doing as much research ahead of time to find a rental in a location that feels like it could also be an area you want to purchase in. Also consider what it might look like financially to purchase right away or if renting makes sense. Taking a look at the real estate trends in the current time can help with this decision. 

7. Keep only the essentials

We had a massive moving sale before we moved. I’ve never been one to hold a ton of sentiment in material objects and so this was easier for us than for someone who might feel differently. We sold nearly everything we owned and packed up our life into a 6’x12’ trailer. Honestly, this was one of my favorite parts of moving. It was so freeing to get rid of so many things that we realized we truly didn’t need for a happy life. It felt good to clear the clutter and to minimize. I also love to design and so the thought of getting to design a home with all new (well, all Facebook market place) items felt exciting. 

Things to consider: Make a list of must-keep pieces. And then make another list of that list minimized…and another…and another.  If you choose to do what we did, you will be amazed at how many things you have to eliminate that were on your initial list. Make sure to keep those things that are important to you. Since they take up the most space, keep only furniture pieces that are must-haves. When you have a moving sale, make sure to keep all of the earnings in a place that can strictly be used to rebuild your new home. This will help you not completely blow your budget as you get settled. When we furnished our house, we purchased nearly everything used from FB Marketplace. Bonus: Going around and picking up each piece actually helped us get familiar with neighborhoods in different areas!

8. Connect with the school district before you leave

When making a large move like ours, I wanted to make sure I knew what the new school requirements were. I’m glad I did! In doing so, I found out that the immunization requirements were slightly different and that there was one vaccine that our daughter needed before being able to attend school in Tennessee. Because I had spoken to them ahead of time, we were able to do this at our normal doctor instead of having to immediately find one when we arrived and then having to delay her start date until it was done. 

Things to consider: Aside from a phone call, setting up a school tour can be really helpful to be able to meet the staff and feel comfortable once you arrive. 

9. Make time for a goodbye opportunity

Leaving your family and friends can be really hard and if you are leaving a place you were born and raised, like we were, it can be especially heart wrenching. We felt like we needed some closure and so invited friends and family to casually stop by during our moving sale. Because we didn’t have a very long turnaround time between the sale and when we actually left, we weren’t able to do a formal going away party. However, this worked well. It was so great to get to hug friends and family and at least have an opportunity to tell as many people as possible that we loved them…and we were grateful for those of them who bought our things and lightened our load too!

Things to consider: In the middle of packing and trying to move, hosting a party can feel overwhelming. Considering making it a super casual event. No one expects to be invited to a clean, show-ready home when you are moving. Invite only those who matter enough and would add value to your goodbye experience. Select only those friends and family who you are comfortable inviting to your messy home, that don’t care for a moment that you are in pajamas for the fourth day in a row, that support this life transition and that you don’t mind shedding some tears in front of. That is the true tribe that you will miss.

10. Map out your trip thoughtfully

Finally getting on the road after such a whirlwind of a couple months felt surreal and exhausting. As I pulled out of the driveway, I was running on fumes. I ended up heading to Tennessee a couple of weeks before Craig and the girls as my job was starting and I needed to get the house set up before it did. Knowing all of this and not wanting to make a 36 hour journey alone, my sister in law graciously offered to be my travel buddy. It was the best! I had someone to make the trip with that I loved and enjoyed dearly and a second driver to help give me breaks along the way. Thinking through family logistics, we decided that Craig and my dad would also make the drive together and that my mom would fly over with the kids. If we had more time, it would have been so fun to make a cross country trip all together and experience all there was along the way, but our timeline didn’t work out that way. 

Things to consider: Like I mentioned, we had a limited amount of time to travel, so as you map out your journey, let your timeframe lead your plans. Be realistic about what you can accomplish in that amount of time and how to do it safely. Look at the different routes available and consider weather, mountain passes, speeds you can realistically go pulling a trailer or hauling kids. Pin point cities you hope to make it to before you leave and then be flexible if you tire more easily than expected. Have a thought-through map of secondary stopping points that are not as far. Make sure your car has a fresh tune up before leaving and that your trailer is balanced and weighed if needed.

Consider taking time to stop and visit some amazing sites along the way if you can. I wish we had had more time for this. We really do live in a beautiful country! Possibly journal along the way to be able to look back and remember your travels. My sister in law and I created Instagram stories of the whole trip along the way and it was a fun way to connect with our friends at home and take them along with us. We had so many people actively watching our stories, interacting with us and wishing us well. 

Above all, follow your heart and create the life you desire. We only live once and I believe in making sure this life is the fullest it can be. There will be many opinions and insight offered when you consider a life change like this. Some people will wholeheartedly support you. Some will offer words of wisdom. Some will criticize your choice. Understand and recognize that those opinions generally either stem from love or from the fact that someone can’t understand where you are coming from. Take what serves you and leave the rest.

Only you know what is best for you and your family and as long as you do you research to know that the big decision you are making is in alignment with what you need for your life, then take the leap! And remember, we are here to support you and answer anything you may have questions on along the way.